Give Me Back My Racecar!

I was listening to a podcast the other day and one of the things they were talking about sparked a stream of thoughts in my head that I'd forgotten all about until that moment. You see, it was about something really near and dear to me in my childhood.

Let's rewind all the way back to December 1994: my Godmother asked me what I would like for Christmas that year --at a department store called 'La Universal' in Costa Rica nonetheless. It was like totally meant to be. Little did I know that  1) she'd get it for me and 2) she'd do it in that very moment. To be honest, I thought it was one of those "what would you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?" sort of deals where they just ask you and never really do anything about it and Christmas day arrives and you go through all of your presents just to find out that Santa didn't really bring you that game of Operation you wanted so badly. You LIED to me Jodie Calhoun, you should be ashamed of yourself! 

At that point in my life, I had always wanted a remote controlled racecar. Especially considering that one of my cousins had one and we always loved playing with it when I went over to his house. I was dying to get one. You see, I was a shy little dude. I didn't really want to bother anyone and really ask for that sort of thing. Those little cars were expensive back then. But she asked me right in front of it! It was as if she knew this little kid would do anything to get one. This was my chance! So I asked for it. 

When I got home I was bursting with joy and excitement to try this bad boy out. I go over and open the box to start assembling whatever needed to be put together. Then I saw it. Batteries were NOT included with this one! They weren't AA batteries or the 9V rectangular ones, they wanted you to get the ones that are like four times the size of AAs. You don't get those batteries just anywhere... So little Khalu had to wait a little bit to start playing with his new toy.

By the time that I got the batteries --and by that I mean my parents, because a little seven year-old wouldn't be able to buy anything, let alone those batteries... Maybe Kevin McCallister would, you never know. So I got the batteries and tested the car out. But the car wouldn't start... There must be something wrong... Why isn't it starting? I reversed the batteries, i cleaned the metal contacts. WHY WASN'T IT WORKING!? By that time, my Godmother had left for her yearly trip to visit her family outside the country and I didn't have a receipt. All hope was lost, because I was to leave to visit my dad's side of the family soon, too.

One day, my lovely sister had a friend over who saw the car and got excited because he too wanted to play with it --my sister who's nine years older than I am, mind you. This guy was a teenager and he knew exactly what he was doing. The guy's name was... Ofir or Jafir? No, no. Jafar? I really don't remember --but Jafar sounds fitting. Hey, the guy was evil! You'll see when I tell you what he did. So he asks me what's wrong with the car and I told him I didn't know. Because why would a seven year old know anything about electronics?

Then, the words that I most wanted to hear in that moment were spoken: "You know, maybe I could take a look at it and fix it for you." I was so desperate for this darn toy to work that anything sounded really awesome to me. So I told him: "HELLZ TO THE YEAHZ." Little did I know that these words were in fact PURE EVIL. Because the dude took my car and I never saw it again!

The guy would come over to my place from time to time and I'd ask him where it was and he'd act all aloof about it. As if I would forget that I gave him my super awesome remote controlled racecar? Who do you think I am? I still remember JAFAR! Gimme back my remote controlled car!

Why wouldn't he give it back to me?

And this you guys, is how NOT to forgive someone. But it is a lesson on stealing. Don't steal you guys! It's bad, mmkay?

Ode To Jim Carrey

I find myself sitting in my office thinking about all the things that I've accomplished and want to accomplish, but also how I got here. See, when I was a little young kid about seven or eight years old, there was this little movie called Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. I didn't realize what this movie would do for me, or how it would change my life.

After watching it, I wanted to be Ace. I mimicked him --not too well I have to note, at least at first, then I got okay. I saw the movie hundreds of times and I loved it every single time. Then, this movie called The Mask came out as well. Wait, it's this dude Jim Carrey again but he's a different person in this movie and still makes me laugh uncontrollably? Hmmm... There must be something about this dude.

When you find yourself quoting and trying to act out an entire movie by yourself, people might think you're crazy --then again, why would they if you're doing it in the confines of your bedroom or living room when there's no one else there?

It's not what it looks like! I was just... checking to see if the maracas worked! 

Then the final nail in my Jim Carrey geekdom hit... Dumb and Dumber. You know what hurt me the most about this one? My dad bought the movie for me on VHS and I loved it. I watched it so many times but then it just suddenly disappeared! No more Dumb and Dumber! I was so pissed and devastated. I'm still haunted to this day by the fact that it just disappeared! Where'd you go? Why did you leave me!? 

As far as my memory serves me, THIS was my comedy initiation! And there wasn't a better way to start it than this. I do have to say that I didn't watch any of the In Living Color episodes when I was a kid --I have to admit that I've never actually watched one as an adult... I'm sorry! No I'm not a fraud! I'm a huge Jim Carrey fan! I just haven't had the time to get to it. I do hear really good things about the show in general and Jim in particular --yes, we're on a first name basis already. We're great pals, we just haven't met yet!

That was my Jim Carrey initiation, but since then I've followed almost all of his career and I've loved it. Sure, there's things I've got to catch up to and watch, but I sure as falafel know that I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. Because anything I've seen of his be it comedy, drama or any of his endeavors, I enjoy greatly and am inspired by him in many ways.

If you pay close attention to the way I act, there is some Jim Carrey in there, and I didn't notice it until I started watching videos of myself being silly. If you haven't already, I invite you to go and subscribe to my Youtube page, watch my videos and share with your friends --hey someone needs to be the publicist over here! At first I thought that I was just influenced by him in the sense that I loved what he did, but looking at what I do, I realized there is some of him that comes across.

Are you a fan of anybody in particular? Who has influenced you the most throughout your life? Let me know in the comments or tweet me!

SpongeBrain Syndrome

Who lives in the pineapple under the sea? SpongeBrain Syndrome! That's how it went, right? It sounds good enough to me, it must be. Just sayin'.

You know how they say a baby's brain is like a sponge? They absorb everything so fast and learn really quickly. Not to brag over here, but I've got something similar going on. Now, when I say I'm not bragging, it's true because it's got some drawbacks --I will share with you, if you were wondering, just hold your horses... Geez.

I'm going to mix it up and talk a little about the "good" stuff, then the "bad" and to close it all off some more of the positives. This is a little trick I'm employing, so I don't leave you out on a "sour" note. Did I really need to tell you that? I mean, a magician never reveals his secrets, why should I? Because I'm not a magician. Don't fret, though. It's only for this time. I won't reveal all of my secrets --that'd be just plain boring, and I might spook you a little in the process... I must keep some tricks up my sleeves!

For starters, having a sponge for a brain not only lets me acquire knowledge quicker, but for someone very interested in human behavior, I can use it to employ the kind of things that I encounter in a precise manner. This is very beneficial because I like to apply certain traits into situations like working on character work for performance and writing. I like the odds that it gives me.

Like a sponge!

An aspect that I don't particularly enjoy --which can be overcome, I might add, it's all mental-- is that being a sponge, I absorb the "good" and the "bad." I'll give you an example: I recently read Amy Poehler's 'Yes Please'. I'd like to take this moment and mention that I love Amy Poehler, she's a fantastic actress, comedian and writer and also I find her very attractive. She's funny, so if you want a great read, click on the link to buy the book. Now, in the book she was talking about how she had a lot of trouble sleeping. Let me walk you through my thoughts as I read this particular part:

1. Hey, I don't have that problem I sleep like a baby!
2. Well, don't get too cocky, you can still develop a bad sleeping habit.
3. Wait, no, no! I didn't mean it. I don't want to develop a bad sleeping habit.
4. I'm strong, I don't need to worry about it.
5. I'm not developing a sleeping disorder am I?

It kept going for a while. That night I slept like a baby. Now, let me also add that I don't have a sleeping disorder. I've since overcome my slight "sleeping disorder" --by "sleeping disorder" I mean I woke up like three to four times a night because it was really hot for about two weeks. If you're someone who actually has a sleeping disorder, you might be thinking to yourself two things: a) That's not a sleeping disorder you wimp! And b) Why on Earth didn't you just turn on the A/C? To answer your questions, a) I agree, that wasn't a sleeping disorder, hence the quotation marks; and b) because I don't want my water and power bill to spike up! So I'm frugal! Last time I checked, that wasn't a crime!

I'd like to comment on the fact that if I just gave into the possibility of me having a sleeping disorder and surrendered to it, I wouldn't even had gone through my slight hiccup. Our minds are so powerful, if we want to, we can accomplish anything. That also goes the other way. If you're truly afraid of something and are reticent to it happening, guess what? It might just end up happening. Our minds are that powerful. So, why not chose what we want to happen and believe in that instead of just living in fear? Because even if your biggest fear still doesn't happen, you're living in fear. That's punishment enough.

Now that I got that piece of advice you didn't ask for out of the way, another thing that I truly enjoy about being a sponge is that I can go through things so quick! If I just relax and put my mind to it, everything just becomes so easy and there aren't any hitches along the way. The only bumps that I encounter are when I myself get in my own way. So, why not get ourselves out of the way and let it happen, bro? Yeah. That's right.

If you're reading this thinking "Khalu Sir-Brags-A-Lot really likes to shove it in your face that he's such a delicate genius and is like a sponge," I must tell you that I'm not the only one. You too can be a delicate genius!

Oh the delicate genius thinks he's too smart!

I'm no better than you are, bros and brodettes. You just have to set your mind to it and you can do anything you want. Some might need to work harder than others, but if you put the work in, you will.

The Duff Review

When I first heard about this movie being released --February 20th 2015, yes it's late review season-- I just wrote it off as just some teen movie that I wouldn't want to watch. Fast-forward to yesterday, where I saw that the movie was featured on iTunes, I thought to myself "Hmph, I think I'm going to give this a nice go-around."

You see, when you hear a lot of people saying good things about something you thought didn't look that great, you're really curious about it because you want to be proven wrong --I don't know about you, but I always want something to be great. Sadly, it doesn't always end up being the case. However, when it comes to The Duff, it IS the case. I was very pleasantly surprised when the movie was finished.

If you don't know what The Duff is about, let me clue you in on some of it --don't you worry, anything I tell you happens in the first five minutes of the movie. The Duff stars Mae Whitman as Bianca (main character), Robbie Amell as Wesley (Bianca's next-door neighbor), Bella Thorn as Madison (Wesley's on-again off-again aspiring reality TV star psycho girlfriend), Bianca Santos as Casey and Skyler Samuels as Jess (Bianca's best friends). With a nice supporting cast of Romany Malco as Principal Buchanan, Allison Janney as Dottie (Bianca's mom) and Ken Jeong as Mr. Arthur (Bianca's journalism teacher) among many others. 

The movie begins being narrated by Bianca (Whitman) who begins talking about homecoming and how there comes a time when you have a big revelation in your high school life that makes you look at everything differently. Madison comes over to invite Jess and Casey to her raging party, but lets Bianca know that only guests with an invitation are allowed to come. So, right then and there Casey tears her invitation in half and hands it over to Bianca so she also has one. At the party Wesley "kindly" lets her know that she's the DUFF of her group of friends. Unbeknownst to him, she took offense to this -- you know, because DUFF stands for Designated Ugly Fat Friend,  why would she be mad? Therein the whole premise of the movie.

Yeah, stare at them creepily. They'll be really uncomfortable.

The Duff felt really fresh to me, because it wasn't like most of all the other high school movies, it had personality and was very charming. Did I mention funny? Because I laughed out loud throughout a lot of it. Sure, it had the usual high school tropes in it here and there, but I mean, tell me about a movie that's completely original in it's entirety and I'll tell you it's really hard to find one --and the ones you do find, are hiding it really well.

Also, I didn't go to high school when things went "viral," so I could take a look at aspects of cyber bullying in a whole different perspective --because I know it happens, it just took a whole different meaning to me when I actually saw it develop itself into something, even though it's in a movie. It also took its jabs at today's issues with technology and how people in general don't interact with each other as they would do without it. You know, as human beings would normally do.

I was pleasantly surprised when I watched The Duff, it brought a very solid and tight personality in a time where movies tend to be mostly sequels or reboots of something. If you haven't had the time to watch this movie, I suggest you give it a shot, because you won't be disappointed.

Batman Arkham Knight Review

Note: This game was played on a Playstation 4

In light of Metal Gear Solid V being released today, how about a belated review for Arkham Knight? I mean, it seems only fitting if you ask me. Let's start by saying this: Batman Arkham Knight is Rocksteady's third and most likely last entry into the series. It follows Batman's antics on a night in which Scarecrow and the mysterious Arkham Knight team up to try and bring the Bat down.

Just like every other Arkham game, all of this takes place over the course of one night, which is a taxing endeavor for anybody involved --especially for Mr. Wayne himself, who's whacking thugs all night long. Oh come on! Saying Bruce Wayne is Batman is not a spoiler! Even your dog knows that. You don't have a dog you say? How about a--it doesn't matter!

Now that we covered what's going on in the game, let's talk a little about the mechanics and gameplay. The game controls exactly like the previous games, which is not a bad thing at all. There are minor tweaks here and there that they've added in this new version, but for the most part everything else is all the same. Combat is just what you'd expect from a Batman game, smooth and fun. They have very slick menus --which by the way are very simple and minimalist, and I mean that in the best possible way!

I told you not to wear a mask... You're hiding all the good stuff!

One of the most notable things they added to the game was the batmobile. You spend almost half of the game in it, which could be a blessing or a curse, depending on how you view it. You see, at first I didn't like it at all. Anything about it. You can read my early impressions of the batmobile right here. I thought the driving was too wonky and fighting those gosh darned tanks all the time... Mother of God! I just wanted to be Batman, not this stupid tank.

But then, it started to grow on me. I don't know if it was Stockholm syndrome or what, but I really enjoyed driving around all over Gotham in it after some time. Now, the tank stuff on the other hand... It became more tolerable, but I could've done without it. I think the problem was that they just tried to shoe-horn it in every single moment they could. They beat you with it until you just couldn't anymore. But I mean, it's all a matter of tastes, right?

The story in this game is really great. It's very riveting filled with masterful voice acting performances and some very funny moments you wouldn't have thought would come packed in a Batman experience. It kept me engaged all the way through to the end. If you're a Bat-nerd, all of the lore you've come to love and expect from a Rocksteady game is also here, so don't fret. Some of the side quests aren't as interesting as the main story, but they're there if you feel like having some extra Bat-time --and if you feel like watching the real ending. Let's also touch on the fact that this game is enormous. You've got at least 20 hours and that's just playing the main quest. It could be even more. So there's plenty of Bats to go around. 

The game looks gorgeous, too. The graphics are very crisp and it runs very smoothly for the most part --although I did experience a little bit of slow-down in certain parts, which wasn't a surprise considering how big the game was. But they really cram it with enemies on the screen and you can tell that they tried to get the most out the console's power.

All in all, this game was a very enjoyable experience which deserves to be played whether or not you're a Batman fan or just an action adventure nut in general. It'll reel you in with a great story and gameplay. If you want to be the Bat, I would highly recommend it for you.